I love assonance.
Yes, I said assonance, not ass. Though if I were a man, I think I would still be a butt guy. Boobs just look a little bit suffocating and not the least bit fun, you know?
My dinner and dessert definitely went straight to my ass.
I’m hitting you guys with a bunch of photo spam because let’s be honest, how many of you actually read my posts word for word? I won’t be mad if you do! I think I would only fast-forward to all the pictures, too.
You just miss out on all my corny really bad jokes. Which may or may not be a burn… Don’t starve yourself from comedy. Even if it’s in bad taste. Man, I need to stop.
But back to the ASSonance.
I come up with the worst blog titles. They’re usually really bad puns, annoyingly chipper adjective + noun combos with an exclamation mark, alliterating and/or rhyming spiels, or just really bad passes at language.
I’m a language tool. Fool. Cool.
I’m going to stop now.
Don’t blame me.
Blame the dessert.
But first, dinner.
- One block tofu, cubed
- Half an onion, diced
- 2 cups of whatever veggies you want
- 1 cup of curried lentils
Action shot!
I had to transfer pans because the one in the previous picture was obviously too small. Hindsight is always 20/20. #rookie mistake
Regardless, instructions:
- Caramelize the onions first for about 5 minutes over med-low heat
- Throw in the tofu and the curried lentils, sauté for about 5 more minutes
- Add the veggies [insert action shot here]
- Season with S&P and any other spice that suits your fancy
- Poke at everything with your spatula for another 5 minutes
Easy peasy. I should write cookbooks. It’d probably have a 5:1 corny joke to recipe ratio.
Topped with a sprinkling of cranberries because… well, just because.
I curse at you, bad lighting! (and crappy point-and-shoot camera). Someone buy me a nice DSLR, please? All my money goes to food and I’m a broke college student!
*cough* Momma? *cough cough* Dadders?
I managed to sit and be good for about an hour before I bullied my roomies M and K into joining me for a froyo run. Once you complete midterms for the week, frozen yogurt is totally necessary.
Starting photo spam in 3…
2…
1…
and Go!
M testing out my camera angle. What a sexy beast. (Are you wearing lipstick, lovey?)
Take #1. K: “Eww, bad photo of me! We need to redo it.”
Take #2: M. The end.
We met up with our froyo buddy, B! This picture is also possibly one of the worst ones of me ever. I look like I’m 2 feet tall with no neck and an impossibly fat head.
Jenny the Bobblehead Doll. Limited edition, call now for free shipping!
B got free froyo!!!
The girl claimed that the previous order was messed up and the customer didn’t want it anymore… but I was in front of B in line and I definitely did not get offered a free Small thin-mint cookie froyo with M&Ms.
It’s because she thought he was cute. I can see right through you, guurlfraaan!
Have I mentioned before how this froyo is like crack? Here’s proof:
M, K, and B all have crack-baby faces.
You know what face I’m referring to, right? That one you get right after your brain gets hit with all that serotonin or dopamine and you’re in your happy place and nothing will get in the way of your pursuit for more except that there’s an annoying girl asking to take a picture of you for her blog and all you want to do is get it over with so you smile briefly before you can faceplant back into that glorious glorious substance in your hand…
I may or may not have let myself buy a “small” size tonight. “Small” deserves to be put in quotes, because that’s a solid 12oz of frozen yogurt.
And being the froyo addict that I am, I even brought my own toppings.
Sugar-free hazelnut amaretto with shredded coconut, dried blueberries, and dried cranberries!
Holy moly. C, my dear, my invisible tuba may be serenading us to sleep tonight. Just warning you.
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