Will the real Jenny please stand up?

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here…

(Sorry for spamming you all with my desperate whining and crying from last night, though… one thing I really can’t stand is having my sleep interrupted rudely.)

Guys, today is the first day of the rest of my life. What a totally pointless assertion, I know, but all day, I’ve had feelings of being reborn. Courtesy of my lovely roomie, C, I present to you, the REAL JENNY.

You know, the Jenny that actually eats carbs, sugar, and cheese. Goodbye Splenda Jenny, hello all-around, super-bad-for-you, but-oh-so-delicious refined sugar Jenny!

Ooh, my head hurts already just thinking about it.

All right, so I’m exaggerating a little. This blog, after all, is a mostly healthy-living blog. I just let myself get a tad bit crazy today because you know, I can eat food now.

DISCLAIMER: Still no camera, but my parents are buying me a DSLR when I go home for Thanksgiving! Do you guys have any recommendations, such as Canon vs. Nikon?

Since our obnoxious neighbors threw that massive party last night, M and I were forced to stay awake until midnight and eat brownies. Yes, you read that clearly. Forced. And you know what? The brownies were absolutely amazing.

And at 5:30am, I got to have my first bowl of oatmeal in 2 MONTHS!!! Brown sugar, maple syrup, almonds, and frozen blueberries will never let you down.

I was a total zombie at work.

Obviously, managing martial arts tournaments is oh-so-strenuous.

Then, at 11am, C picked me up to get Cheeseboard pizza! Seriously, if you guys are ever in Berkeley, it is quintessential that you stop there. They make only one type of pie per day, and it’s always vegetarian, but all their ingredients are fresh, local, organic, and in-season, and it’s basically the best thin crust you’ll ever have.

Trust in the Yelp reviews, m’dears.

Today’s pizza: cremini mushroom, onion, goat cheese, mozzarella, garlic, and fresh herbs.

While I don’t have pictures of me stuffing my face from today, I’ll treat you to pictures from past Cheeseboard experiences:

Yes, this is definitely how the Cheeseboard experience plays out.

Happy faces every time. I swear it’s like Chuckie Cheese’s. Or McDonald’s. Which ever one has the “happy people” slogan.

And since Cheeseboard also has a legit cheese shop and bakery next door, I just HAD to buy a gigantic loaf of raisin and almond challah bread. I just had to.

Post-lunch nap, grocery shopping (in which I bought NORMAL THINGS! Like crackers! and cheese!), and then dinner for my wonderful roomie M’s birthday! We went to his favorite Indian restaurant, and I basically buried my face in some bhindi masala (sautéed okra with onions and tomatoes) and some roti/naan bread.

And when we went for frozen yogurt dessert, I did NOT hold back. (Pictures coming soon.) Red velvet cake, Ghirardelli chocolate, and Kona coffee with cookie dough and waffle cone bits? Yes please.

So how do I feel?

Truthfully, my tummy isn’t too pleased with me. My first day off the detox has been a bit of a wild one, and I wouldn’t normally stuff myself with this much indulgent food in one day. (Well, not usually, anyway!)

This detox has been one of the hardest projects I have ever undertaken. Not only was my willpower and determination constantly being tested, but so was my creativity and innovativeness.

I wasn’t allowed to eat many of the foods that I absolutely love, and having to come up with recipes that were flavorful, healthy, and dynamic was something that did get draining – particularly when I was dead tired and stressed out. Funnily, eating mostly fruits, veggies, nuts, and legumes wasn’t all that hard.

Sure, I had to be careful to avoid wheat and/or grain products, and you would be astounded to realize just how many products have added-sugar, but the hardest part was probably dealing with the other people.

I would get so many questions and comments, such as

• What is the point of your diet? Why are you doing this? Does it actually work?
• Ugh, you’re not doing it to lose weight, are you? That’s so silly.
• Seriously, are you still not eating normal foods?

While most of the comments were not meant to be harmful, I often felt like I was being judged harshly or negatively for my eating choices. My eating habits did interrupt a big part of my social life, since I couldn’t always indulge in restaurants or wild nights out, and breaking bread (hahaha pun intended) with others was always an inconvenience.

However, the point I want to firmly drive home is that I do not regret a single moment. While difficult, this detox remains one of the coolest things I’ve ever accomplished.

Where will you go from here?

Today aside, I hope to continue eating a diet based mostly on fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes, etc. I do think that your body needs a little bit of sugar and cheese, and definitely whole grains. Everything in moderation, of course!

The last few weeks, I’m not sure if it was due to my stress levels or not, but I definitely started feeling a drain on my energy levels. Maybe a detox like the one I did has diminishing marginal returns. The first few weeks, I felt fantastic, but as time wore on, my body probably couldn’t carry on as efficiently, and I started feeling sicker and less energetic.

Of course, I’m pulling these hypotheses out of my butt without any sort of scientific backing, so take everything I’m saying with a grain of salt.

Would I recommend the detox?

I say yes, but definitely be prepared, and maybe only limit it to about 4 weeks.

Now, even though it’s Saturday evening and there’s a party back home that the roomies are throwing for M, I have to study for my Stats midterm!

Don’t hesitate to hit me up with questions!

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Official blogging hiatus + 8 week evaluation

Hi everyone,

Per my last post, I won’t be blogging for a few days since my life is in a bit of a wreck right now (for serious, this time, not just me being my usual drama queen self).

I’m sorry for letting any of you down, but even if I could blog, it’s official – my camera is broken and won’t turn on.

That being said, today is also day 56 of my detox, aka I’ve reached 8 weeks and I only have one week left! I want to say that I’m finishing off on a strong foot, but I may or may not have fallen off the wayside. Eeeek!

I’ll be back by October 15th to formally wrap up my detox but in the meantime, I’ll miss you all!

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Burma Superstar and tragedy

Hey friendsies!

Something about having midterms staring you down with a growl and a stink-eye is a really transformative phenomenon. And people transform in different ways.

For the lucky ones, they become focused, productive, and studious people, and their drive for that ever elusive A brings out the best of them. For me personally, I become a raging, hormonal, tearful, short-tempered, messy, binge-eating, and unproductive train wreck.

And that was all just a gigantic tangent to tell you that I’ve finally earned a reprieve – I only have one midterm next week!! Wahoooo!

Naturally, I’ve been in quite the chipper mood.

This morning, even though I slept in until 8am (holy moly did that feel soooo good), I had to bond with the toilet for a little bit. I think that frozen yogurtfrom last night did a number on my tummy. TMI? Sorry.

After researching low-fiber foods… which happen to include

• refined flour
• white/bleached flour
• fruit and veggies! (but only if there are no seeds, pulp, or skin involved…)
• peanut butter
• eggs
• meat

I basically crawled into a hole and died. Just kidding.

Hard-soft boiled eggie, with a small handful of nuts, and a sliced up banana!

(I really want to remind you all that I definitely do not photograph EVERYTHING I eat, so don’t be concerned about my portion-sizes or my calorie counts!)

And it was a perfectly beautiful, sunny morning with zero sign of rain, so I had to treat myself to the world’s best salad.

Unwrapping these babies is just like Christmas morning!

I could wax poetic for days about this place. Oh wait, I already did.

So finally, for the part that I am most excited to talk about:

C’s dadders and step-mom are here from Virginia! And since her dad is just as food crazy as we are, if not more, their arrival could only mean a glorious food weekend for the lady.

However, me being the fabulous roommate and all, and also because they’re just awesome, they treated a couple of us to dinner!

This place is amazing. If you’re ever in the East Bay, drop by. Order their tea leaf salad. Stuff the entire thing in your face and don’t share.

Also, show up an hour early because last year when C’s dad came for parents’ weekend, the wait for a table was 75 minutes long.

We started off with some good conversation and a huge coconut to sip out of!

This thing was way too much fun!

Our lovely dinner company! You guys recognize A, L, and H, right?

And our server was pretty cool so naturally I had to take a picture of him. Don’t worry, I did tell him I have a blog before I snapped the photo… at least I think I did.

BUT THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK – MY CAMERA DIED! I don’t know what it is. It won’t turn on. It’ll plug into my computer and upload and everything, but I think I finally wore it down.

That being said, once I steal the photos from C, I’ll edit this post with more pictures for you all. In the meantime, I may have to seriously take a blogging hiatus until I get my hands on another camera. (Maybe even a DSLR?!)

This camera (Nikon S4000) was a gift from my ex-boyfriend after he dropped my old one and broke it. For all you men out there, the best way to assuage your furious girlfriend is to immediately put down your xbox controller, stop playing Call of Duty 4, and take her shopping for a new one.

The first time I got to play with my camera!

*weeps*

I need to stop going on tangents. My mind is all over the place. I think it’s because I’m still in a food coma and all I want to do is curl up and paint my nails.

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Tofu scramble and photo spam

I love assonance.

Yes, I said assonance, not ass. Though if I were a man, I think I would still be a butt guy. Boobs just look a little bit suffocating and not the least bit fun, you know?

My dinner and dessert definitely went straight to my ass.

I’m hitting you guys with a bunch of photo spam because let’s be honest, how many of you actually read my posts word for word? I won’t be mad if you do! I think I would only fast-forward to all the pictures, too.

You just miss out on all my corny really bad jokes. Which may or may not be a burn… Don’t starve yourself from comedy. Even if it’s in bad taste. Man, I need to stop.

But back to the ASSonance.

I come up with the worst blog titles. They’re usually really bad puns, annoyingly chipper adjective + noun combos with an exclamation mark, alliterating and/or rhyming spiels, or just really bad passes at language.

I’m a language tool. Fool. Cool.

I’m going to stop now.

Don’t blame me.

Blame the dessert.

But first, dinner.

• One block tofu, cubed
• Half an onion, diced
• 2 cups of whatever veggies you want
• 1 cup of curried lentils

Action shot!

I had to transfer pans because the one in the previous picture was obviously too small. Hindsight is always 20/20. #rookie mistake

Regardless, instructions:

1. Caramelize the onions first for about 5 minutes over med-low heat
2. Throw in the tofu and the curried lentils, sauté for about 5 more minutes
3. Add the veggies [insert action shot here]
4. Season with S&P and any other spice that suits your fancy
5. Poke at everything with your spatula for another 5 minutes

Easy peasy. I should write cookbooks. It’d probably have a 5:1 corny joke to recipe ratio.

Topped with a sprinkling of cranberries because… well, just because.

I curse at you, bad lighting! (and crappy point-and-shoot camera). Someone buy me a nice DSLR, please? All my money goes to food and I’m a broke college student!

*cough* Momma? *cough cough* Dadders?

I managed to sit and be good for about an hour before I bullied my roomies M and K into joining me for a froyo run. Once you complete midterms for the week, frozen yogurt is totally necessary.

Starting photo spam in 3…

2…

1…

and Go!

M testing out my camera angle. What a sexy beast. (Are you wearing lipstick, lovey?)

Take #1. K: “Eww, bad photo of me! We need to redo it.”

Take #2: M. The end.

We met up with our froyo buddy, B! This picture is also possibly one of the worst ones of me ever. I look like I’m 2 feet tall with no neck and an impossibly fat head.

Jenny the Bobblehead Doll. Limited edition, call now for free shipping!

B got free froyo!!!

The girl claimed that the previous order was messed up and the customer didn’t want it anymore… but I was in front of B in line and I definitely did not get offered a free Small thin-mint cookie froyo with M&Ms.

It’s because she thought he was cute. I can see right through you, guurlfraaan!

Have I mentioned before how this froyo is like crack? Here’s proof:

M, K, and B all have crack-baby faces.

You know what face I’m referring to, right? That one you get right after your brain gets hit with all that serotonin or dopamine and you’re in your happy place and nothing will get in the way of your pursuit for more except that there’s an annoying girl asking to take a picture of you for her blog and all you want to do is get it over with so you smile briefly before you can faceplant back into that glorious glorious substance in your hand…

I may or may not have let myself buy a “small” size tonight. “Small” deserves to be put in quotes, because that’s a solid 12oz of frozen yogurt.

And being the froyo addict that I am, I even brought my own toppings.

Sugar-free hazelnut amaretto with shredded coconut, dried blueberries, and dried cranberries!

Holy moly. C, my dear, my invisible tuba may be serenading us to sleep tonight. Just warning you.

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Rain, rain go away!

Howdy hey, everyone!

I swear the weather hates me.

I woke up today to a dark and rainy morning… and sometimes that’s a nice situation to be in, if all you have planned for the day consists of curling up on the couch with tea and a movie. I luckily had a paper and a midterm today! Yippee! Not.

Last night was also so cold that my fingers and toesies were numb when I got up. It’s only October! This weather is not fair!

Are there any detox-friendly warm breakfasts?

It’s only a waiting game until October 15. I can smell the end!

Yogurt with sliced banana, frozen berries, shredded coconut, chia seeds, honey, and cinnamon!

It’s a crappy morning already when you have to take an exam first thing in the morning, but it’s a way crappier morning when you have to march to that exam in the rain.

Friends, I should not major in Chinese.

I was ripped a new one after that class. (And frankly, any exam that centers around how Chinese Americans’ socioeconomic situation has improved since the 1940s does not deserve to exist.)

Someone needs to invent a sneaker that’s waterproof. Marching through puddles with tennis shoes and then slipping and sliding your way through the gym is just too much fun to share with the world.

By the time I got home (and getting splashed by cars driving by), I was ready for a hot shower and soup!

Frozen veggies, one egg, and some of my momma’s dried seaweed!

I basically throw half my spice collection into these broths.

But some things just always work out in the end, no matter what you do to them.

Oooh, yeeeah.

And of course, by the time I was showered and dried and warm, the sun came out! I don’t know if I believe in karma, but whatever I did to you, Mother Nature, I’m deeply sorry. Please cut me some slack next time!

P.S. Momma, I loved the seaweed, but I love you more!

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